assorted and sundry updates

Since it has been so long since I have written an update for my blog, it is probably time to do so.  So here is what I have been up to lately. 

First, I got a new tattoo.  It is on my right ankle.  It is the Greek conjugation of the genitive form of the word Grace, meaning "belonging to Grace" or "by means of God's Grace."  Which is how I choose to live my life and tremendously important to me as a Lutheran.  This is also informing my theological studies, and my vocation.  As a funny side note, the day after I got the tattoo I was managing the emergency services department along with one of our volunteers, Kathleen.  Kathleen is a hilarious older woman who says exactly what she means.  When I was showing off my tattoo to a coworker, Kathleen remarked, "Well I sure hope that is religious."  After I got done laughing hysterically and telling her that, indeed, it was religious, she said that was okay and if she was younger, she would do the same thing.  And I couldn't agree more.  If you are going to put something on your body forever, you need to make sure that you feel strongly about it.  Which is why I have an ichthus on my back.  My dear friends here in Denver knew how much I wanted a new tattoo, so they got together and collected money and gave it to me on my birthday.  True friends encourage permanent body modifications! 

Next, I registered this week for classes at graduate school.  I will be taking 14 quarter hours, which differ slightly from semester hours.  Our quarters are only 10 weeks long.  So in other words, I am going to have my hands full and it is good that I won't be working this quarter.  I will be taking biblical Greek, Old Testament (Hebrew) exegesis, pastoral care theory and a vocation discernment class.  But I am WAY excited to go back into academia.  Evidenced by the fact that I am totally geeking out over the fact that I need to go buy a much bigger bookshelf to hold all of the exciting text books! 

A couple weeks ago I was awarded entrance into the ELCA candidacy process for Diaconal Ministry.  Back in May I wrote this post on diaconal ministry.  (click to follow link)  Candidacy is the communal discernment process through which the candidate and their church body (in this case, the Rocky Mountain Synod) mutually explore internal (from the candidate) and external (from the greater church and others) sense of call.  I wrote a couple essays, endured an intelligence test/psych evaluation and a couple interviews earlier this summer.  On August 12th I had my panel interview with my candidacy sub-committee.  They asked questions about my essays, sense of call, vocational goals and theological understanding.  While the process is grueling, I am very appreciative of it, because it means that the people who are serving the ELCA are really qualified and called to do so.  A mainline denomination such as the ELCA can only exist because of careful attention to who is called to serve and shepherd it.  Mainline protestant ministers and church leaders are very well educated and informed, and this is helpful because it means that churches are not built around the "cult of personality" of a charismatic preacher, but rather, rooted in a firm understanding of theology and sociology and caring for others. 

My next step is to start classes this fall and complete a unit of CPE (Clinical Pastoral Education) next summer in a hospital.  After this year of didactic studies and the CPE residency are complete, I will write a few more essays and undergo some more interviews to progress into the Endorsement phase of candidacy.  At this point, I will have to discern whether or not I am going for consecrated or ordained ministry, and my studies will follow accordingly.  After that, I have a couple more years of study and internship, and finally the Approval phase.  Approval tests theological competency and understanding and ability to serve and culminates in Call.  I feel blessed to be supported by a wonderful candidacy committee, my congregation, my clergy mentors and a whole bunch of friends.  Right now it is just one step at a time.  I am working on finalizing my affiliation with an ELCA seminary (Luther in MSP) for supervision of my Lutheran formation classes and getting really excited to start classes on September 12th. 

Grandma Amy, I miss you

The final project!
Every once in a while, something takes me aback and makes me miss Grandma Amy all over again.  Grandma Amy taught me how to sew, and was one of the most talented seamstresses that I have ever met.  She made my mother's wedding dress, my first prom dress (after all I specified was that I wanted to "look like Cinderella") and several dresses for my sister Katie.  

Yesterday I decided to sew a laptop sleeve for my new MacBook Pro.  I looked at patterns online to figure out the proportions for the sleeve, then went to JoAnn's to get crafty.  As I meandered through the aisles of fabric and picked up all the necessary things, it made me miss Grandma Amy.  I feel very blessed that I was able to learn as much from her as I could, but really wish that she was still around to call when I have questions about my sewing projects.  Or furthermore, to just call when I want to talk.  I really wish that she was still with us.  The world is a little lonelier without Amy Rody in it.

I cut the fabric and attached fusible
fleece to the outer layers

After about an hour of getting inspired and being indecisive, I picked out fabrics in a chocolate brown/aqua color scheme.

Then I angled and pinned the zipper and sewed the outer
layers together and inner layers together.

End of the line

I noticed an interesting phenomenon several years ago, the last time I worked in social services, and have noticed it again this year.  Most of us in this field are in it because we genuinely care about other people and want to be of service.  Along with that comes an unwillingness to be at the "end of the line."  Let me explain what this means...

When someone is seeking services (rent assistance, food, gas vouchers, etc), and visits a specific agency, no social worker at that agency wants to ultimately deny services and be at the "end of the line."  The thinking goes, if my agency doesn't have that service and/or funding, I will just give you the name of another agency, and they might have it.  Because I want to give you something.  It feels really awful to say to someone, "I really can't help you, and unfortunately, no one else can either."  My agency is often the "end of the line" for a lot of services.  We are the largest provider of energy assistance in the state of Colorado, provide a substantial amount of rental assistance, as well as we are one of the only agencies left in Denver that provides assistance with bus tokens.  So, we find ourselves in that position a lot.  If we can't help you, there is no other agency that is going to be able to help you either. 

When I worked at the agency serving homeless women several years ago, I will admit that I was one of those people who pushed clients onto other agencies and let that other organization do the unpleasant work of telling someone that they could just not be helped.  Somehow it felt better to be able to offer my clients something, even if that was just a phone number to another agency.  However, now being on the receiving end of many of those "referrals", I have a different view.  Not only does it put the case manager in a terrible position, but it ultimately does not serve the client either. 

On Monday, I had a client that sat all the way through job services orientation, and waited 45 minutes to talk to me afterwards, just to ask if we would pay her car insurance and provide gas vouchers.  When I said that our agency did not provide that assistance, and furthermore, no agency in Denver provided those services, she came unglued.  Some case workers might attempt to pass this client off to another organization or a church, but that is only wasting the client's time and remaining resources.  It is far more compassionate to  be honest.  This woman was furious with me, and said that because I could not help her, she was going to become homeless.  Which is entirely not true, but it doesn't always feel so great. 

I have to remember that there are many, many clients every day that I can help.  My inability to provide a service in the moment is not going to make someone homeless (they played a role in that themselves a long time ago), and I am called to do the most good for the most people.  Pragmatism is a pretty important skill to have in this field.  Fortunately, after my difficult conversation with that client on Monday, I had a wonderful client that needed  a variety of services that I could actually provide and he was grateful.  And that is the way that things usually go.  The good and the bad, all mixed together.

Blast from the Past: Augustana Senior Sermon

One of the most revered traditions at my alma mater, Augustana College, is the opportunity that seniors have to preach during the chapel hour.  In the spring of my senior year I wrote and delivered the sermon listed at the link below.  The professor shown in the photo with me was my capstone professor and advisor, Dr. Ann Pederson. 

Augustana Senior Sermon (2005) "Splendid Imperfections"

As I prepare for seminary in the fall, and the homilitics (preaching) classes that I will be taking over the next three years, I thought it prudent to revisit this sermon.  For never being formally trained in hermeneutics or homilitics, the sermon is not bad.  It is funny how much has changed, and yet, how little has changed over the years.  I still find myself wondering if God can really use me, and still have to challenge myself to lay down my metaphorical nets to follow the Call to discipleship.  But, for better or worse, that is what I am doing and it is only through Grace that I am able to do so in spite of my imperfections. 

Wild Goose Festival

A week ago I returned from the Wild Goose Festival in Shakori Hills, NC.  This festival is the first of its kind in North America, modeled after a similar event in the UK called Greenbelt, which is a festival of arts, music, justice and spirituality.  This festival was born out of a desire to see people of faith embody their faith in more just and joyful ways, connecting across lines of denomination, politics, class, race, etc.  The hope of this festival was to create space for conversation, reflection and celebration of both our similarities and differences in the name of an evolving church.

This festival was not a convention or a conference led by keynote speakers and attended by passive listeners.  Rather, it involved musicians, theologians, social justice advocates and artists engaging in conversation with participants about tough questions relevant to the deep needs of the world and of God's people.  As many of you know, I generally balk at theology that smacks of any sort of fundamentalism or evangelicalism.  However, I also shy away from people who are too far left in their theology, although this is a relatively new development for me.

This festival provided real sacred space for engaging in conversation instead of beating each other over the head with our theology.  I spent an entire morning just sitting at the coffee shop on the festival grounds with a book, my journal and a really large latte.  I had wonderful conversations with all sorts of people including an evangelical book publisher, a physician who works with HIV patients in San Francisco, some prominent emergent theologians, a couple in their seventies who drove to the festival from the Midwest, the Muslim chaplain from Duke University and the author of the book that I am currently leading a book study on, Samir Selmanovic.  What was beautiful is that I, along with everyone else at the festival, heard and experienced things that made us uncomfortable (don't get me started about the contributor to Religious Dispatches advocating for gender neutral pronouns...), yet didn't shut down the conversation.  There were things I passionately agreed with and other things I vehemently disagreed with, but I put that aside for awhile, and just listened.

I am working on being able to freely admit that I have been one of those people who have used my progressive theology and social activism to pass judgment on others, while moving forward with an attitude of humility and pragmatism.  I had a great conversation with my pastor Nadia this week in which we were reflecting on the progressives' tendency to "call people out", fracturing the very relationships which could lead to change.  The only place for authentic dialogue is in the middle where there is space for conversation and grace, where we suspend our judgments and demonstrate openness and a willingness to learn.  And while this is something that I have been attempting to practice for years, this festival finally allowed me to live it.