I keep holding out hope that one day (hopefully soon!) all that I am learning will collide together into a big glorious mess and it will all make sense. That some day the Greek, the Hebrew, the post-colonialism, the theology of the cross, the mission theory, the Roman history, the CPE experiences, and the ministry praxis will form me into a pastor.
In the meantime, I am feeling a little discouraged. I think I need to listen to it all, take in what I can, and leave the rest for later. I am choosing to trust that if I am following this call, I will be provided with everything that I need to survive grad school.