What did you want to be when you grow up?

A lot of the prompts that have been put forth by NaBloPoMo for the posts this month relate to thinking about the past.  Today I am thinking about what I wanted to be when I grew up.  I was never one of those kids who had a specific idea of what I wanted to be.  I had some vague ideas, like I wanted to help people and something to do with health care.  I have been lucky to have worked in several fields that allow me to care for people: human services, case management, nursing, parish ministry, and now chaplaincy.

I think I have the best job in the world.  I get to spend time with other people for a living.  My work as a chaplain frees me to care for the souls and emotions and minds of my patients. I actually get to be a PERSON for a living. The greatest qualification for my work is to use all of the emotional intelligence and mental intelligence that I have to meet another person right where they are. I have been a master's degree, an Mdiv, and have been prepared in a variety of ways for this work, including 1600 clinical hours and approval by my judicatory.  I am currently working towards board certification in chaplaincy, a standard for any discipline in healthcare.

I think I am dangerously close to becoming a grown-up.  I am into my thirties, I have several degrees, including a graduate degree, and I am self-sufficient. I am also thrilled to say that my vocation, chaplaincy, is what I want to be when I grow up.  What a gift.

Prayer Series Part III: The Labyrinth

A.Hanson 2012
Denver, CO

Prayer labyrinths are one of my very favorite things.  They are often works of art.  The picture to the left is of a prayer labyrinth at Montview Presbyterian church in Denver, CO, which is still one of my favorite labyrinths.  In the summer, I like to take off my shoes and walk the warm stones at dusk.  I have walked labyrinths all over the world and in many different places.  I have walked them in massive French cathedrals, in pastures in rural Minnesota, in church basements, on mountaintops in Colorado.  There are so many places in which to experience this prayer practice.

There is a fair amount of controversy surrounding prayer labyrinths, because they are an ancient pagan symbol that was adopted by the Catholic church.  Only in the last two decade or so have they seen a resurgence in emerging and neo-orthodox churches.

I have found Sally Welch's Walking the Labyrinth:A Spiritual and Practical Guide to be a useful tool in explaining the history, function, and discipline of the prayer labyrinth.

There is only one way into the labyrinth, and only one way out.  It is not a maze, rather, it is a gentle path that doubles back on itself.  It is possible to relax while in the labyrinth.  There are many ways to engage this prayer practice, my favorite is very simple.  I pick an intention for my time in the labyrinth.  Whether that is a certain word, phrase or idea I am pondering, or something that I want to let go of, I only focus on that intention as I walk to the center of the labyrinth.  Once I reach the center, I pause and pray.  Sometimes I am in the center for awhile.  Then on my way back out of the labyrinth I feel the freedom of that intention or listening to what God is saying to me.  Just before leaving the labyrinth, I give thanks for my time there.

Lent 4: What is good and right and true?

A. Hanson 2012
Denver, CO

When I start thinking about what is good and right and true, I also start thinking about permanence.  What is actually permanent?  What has staying power?  What is a rock?

I think about this a lot, because my entire life is up in the air right now with my career and eventual call process for the church.  Belongings don't have permanence.  Jobs don't have permanence.

But relationships/friendships are good and right and true.  And they can have permanence, but that requires hard work.  But more often than not, they do not survive the geographic separation or transition that comes with the ebb and flow of life.  I think that the Triune God is both good and right and true, and also permanent.  And maybe the only entity that is.

Lent 3: Spirituality and Jesus in unlikely places

The reflection question this week is "Where are you encountering Jesus in the unlikeliest of places?"

Counter protest to WBC held at Lorde Concert
as reported by The Denver Channel

Last week, on March 19, Fred Phelps died in hospice in Kansas. Fred Phelps is one of the most hated men in America because of his highly controversial Westboro Baptist Church and his outspoken hatred of LGBTQ folks.  In the days before his death, it came out that he was excommunicated by his own church in August 2013.  There are a number of blog articles and conversations about how we should respond to his death.  Some people want to respond in kind, protesting his funeral, like his church has protested so many funerals (although WBC said there would not be a funeral), some people want to ignore them, and yet others are responding out of love.  The image to the left has been making the rounds of the internet for the last few days.  This is an example of Jesus in the most unlikely of places. I want to hate Fred Phelps because of the hateful vitriol that he has spewed and the fact that he hates people like me and so many of my friends.  Yet, I find myself unable to do so.  He seems like a lonely, miserable person.  And Jesus loves him too.

Nate Phelps, the estranged son of Fred Phelps who is now an atheist and outspoken advocate for LGBTQ rights, said it best in his public statement, referenced in this article, when he said he will mourn his father "not for the man he was, but the man he could have been" and implored us all to work for justice and "have his death mean something.  Let every mention of his name and his church be a constant reminder of the tremendous good that we are all capable of doing in our communities."

We were talking about the death of Fred Phelps in my church office last week, and my supervising pastor said, "He will be welcomed into heaven, but God is going to have some SERIOUS questions for him."

Jesus shows up in the most unlikely of places.  I am definitely NOT saying that God ordains the sort of vitriol spewed by WBC, but rather, that Jesus shows up in people who continue to love in spite of this hate.  For the Gospel is not just for people that I like.

Lent 2: Vocation

This week's portion of the Lenten disciplines asked us to reflect upon vocation.  This is something that I think about a lot, because I am engaged in an entire year's worth of vocational formation as I do this internship in parish ministry.

Author Frederick Buechner said that vocation is where your deep gladness and the world's deep needs meet.  I think this is my operating definition of vocation as well.

My understanding of vocation has also been shaped by Martin Luther who writes that vocation is not limited to clergy.  We all have a vocation, and that is to serve our neighbor.

So vocation is about knowing your gifts and how they can be of service to the world, while also paying attention to the needs around you.  I think it is this second part of vocation that is all too easy to forget.  When I lived in intentional community nine years ago with seven other young adults (wow, that feels like a lifetime ago!) we had a sign in our kitchen that read, "See the Need…Meet the Need."  It partially had to do with cleaning up messes in the kitchen, but also had to do with our lives outside of the Ogden Street house. Lives of service in organizations serving those experiencing homelessness and poverty.

Vocation: It is about seeing the need and meeting the need. Using your gifts to meet the needs of the world.

Lent 1: Temptations

View of Colorado Blvd, A. Hanson 2011

This week's discipline asked us to reflect upon what temptations that rule us and make us turn away from those in need.

The picture in this post was from my Colorado Blvd apartment building.  Just a few blocks to the north of my apartment was the intersection of Colorado and Colfax.  There was always someone on that corner with a sign asking for money. 

Even for all the years that I worked in homeless services, I still turned away from these signs and did not meet the eyes of those asking for money while flying cardboard signs.  Part of this was evolved street smarts from living in a city, part of it was self-interest, part of it is undoubtedly judging those people who are holding the signs, but most of it was mortification and pain that I just felt overwhelmed by the problems of poverty and homelessness. I was closer to this than most people, I worked at a homeless shelter, I did case management, I worked in a food bank, I had friendships with people who were homeless.  Yet I still had that lump in my throat that was hard to work around.  

There is an attitude among many people that those men and women who hold the signs are only using the money to buy drugs and alcohol.  Which is probably partially true and I don't deny that.  My reluctance to look these people in the eye and turn away from their need is a temptation to stay ignorant about their humanity.  And that cuts me to the bone. It means that anyone could end up homeless and lose their dignity.  

Dear Lord, in this season of Lent, please break our hardened hearts that we might more fully love others as you love them.  Amen. 

Ash Wednesday

The entire city of St Peter is currently engaged in a food drive during the month of March.  For Ash Wednesday, we are asked to reflect upon the basic needs of our community and how we might participate in meeting those needs. Hunger is an insidious beast.  When I lived in the inner city, it was relatively easy to see hunger.  It was in the face of the person standing on the corner of Sixth Avenue and Broadway.  It was in the faces of the people lined up outside the Denver Rescue Mission.  Here, in a small town, that is relatively well-off, hunger is harder to see.  But it still exists.  Because we have a busy food pantry just down the street from my house. So I am participating in this city-wide food drive by bringing canned goods to church, donating a few extra dollars to the campaign every time I shop at the grocery store, and encouraging others to do the same.

New Spiritual Practice

A. Hanson 2012

So, I stumbled across a link the other day that I think I am going to try.  Anybody else in with me?

Two-Week Stress-Less Plan by Real Simple