Reflections on Domestic Violence

We see quite a few women who are victims of domestic violence, who are already in safe houses, need to be placed there or are survivors of DV.
Today a new client came to the shelter who had just left her abusive husband. She did not want to go into a safe house. She insisted that she would be safe on her own. We wanted to do more intensive case managment, but she would not have it. She slipped out before we could catch her. She is in the midst of a cycle of abuse, and who knows how long it will be before she tries to leave again. Our stats say that a woman will leave an average of 9-11 times before she leaves for good.
However, much like the cases of homelessness and chemical dependency, a person cannot change unless they want to change. We need to respect where this particular woman is at this time. And that is just one of the hardest things to watch.